bath time

is there anything quite as nice as getting all squeaky clean in a hot bathtub? 

jude thinks not.

although we spend a lot more time standing in the tub, putting the washcloths on the built in shelf, then knocking them off- all the while singing with me in his sweet, happy voice. 

he was turning into a bit of a grump this evening, but the second we stepped into the bathroom, his legs started to kick with joy and an instant smile spread across his face. and to make the night sweet perfection, he let me rock him to sleep while we chilled in the living room with gerson. 

these are the evenings i want to remember forever.

my best parenting advice

now that i'm the momma of a 1 year old, i like to reflect over the past year- what worked and what didn't.

honestly the best advice i ever read, go with your instincts.

seriously.

there is so much out there. advice on how to nurse, what kind of diapers to buy, and how to burp you baby. it is overwhelming when you're trying to recall it in your sleep-deprived state with a seemingly frail newborn in your arms. so just go with your gut. if your baby is fed, warm, and safe- your doing well[the same goes for you- mama's gotta eat too!].

i'm not saying don't educate yourself beforehand, but you also have to be gentle on yourself.

and remember, that sweet snuggley baby is growing so fast, so put aside the to-do list and cuddle.

snuggles- the cure-all

i don't normally talk about work here; mostly because, while i love what i do, being a nurse is not my life right now. i very much prefer the momma/wife/friend role- my real life. [not to mention a lot of what i do is confidential].

i work ever saturday and sunday night, and i work in the charge nurse position. meaning, i direct the flow of patients on our unit, i act as a resource to my peers, check in on each patient to make sure things are going the way they should and nothing is being missed [and answer call lights, whatever needs done]. this is the expected part of the role, controlling chaos that happens in hospitals- i like it.

the aspect i do not like-more like hate- is the conflict resolution. when people aren't doing their jobs and need to be talked to about basic parts of their jobs. and there are certain individuals who i have had to talk about quite a bit. 

saturday night was the last straw. i will not go into all the details, but i[who stay very cool, calm, and collected; even when under pressure] was furious. it ended in me having a very serious conversation and emailing my manager[this has been an issue before i came to nights].

it was very liberating. i've talked before, but i was very serious and stern this time. and it was probably the first time i've had to act this way with people that weren't family. 

all this soul-searching and paying attention to self is paying off.

and jude snuggles and kisses that morning when i got home didn't hurt either.

one year

                        dear jude,

one year ago today, at 5:20 am, you were born.

you were so anticipated, from the moment we knew you were coming, our future bent and changed to reveal a different picture, a better picture. i was so nervous that something might happen, that you might not make it here [being a nurse, i know too much]. i am so glad you did. 

things kicked into high gear after the 20 week appointment, and we found out you were a boy, and you were growing so well! i had so much fun creating your nursery, getting the perfect look for my precious boy- looking high and low for the little touches to make your nursery fun and bright [and very anti-theme]. it had to be unique, like you.

i couldn't wait for you to be in my arms, i was beyond annoyed by the end, with all the comments and advice- why does no one just let me be excited? but i knew it would all be worth it to get you, a sort of initiation into the mommy club. 

i was so excited at my last few appointments! there's nothing better than hearing you might come early! i was scheduled to work up until my due date, and i didn't want to spend a single day of my 10 weeks off waiting for you to arrive. and you didn't let me down!

at 1:30 am, my water broke; and less than 4 hours later, your sweet face was looking into mine! my heart was in awe of you- your smell, your hair, your face, your noises, your everything. you were beyond anything i ever could have wanted, and yet you were exactly everything i dreamed of...

 you have caused me to grow every minute since. the lack of sleep, the fact that my everything now effected you- there was no room for selfishness. that letting go of self-centeredness [to a degree i didn't even realize] hurt- it was a type of growing pains i didn't even know. 

i say all that to say this- your first year has been the biggest gift to me! your sweet personality, your stubborn streak[no idea where you get that from], your kisses, your little voice and the way you already sway and sing to music- every smile and laugh. myheartcouldburst!

i'm more than thankful you are mine. thank you so much for finding your way to me.

                                      with more love than you will ever know,

your mama

              

the problem with social networking

i've noticed lately that i've become very irritated with a lot of what i see on facebook. once upon a time, facebook was a place where i could see what my friends were doing, and joke around[nothing indecent] and have fun. then enter the younger generation [like 5-10 years] who were annoying, but easy to ignore. then entered the older generation [40+] who insist on "friending" me, and constantly post obnoxiously polar political crap, and comment contently in annoying ways[apparently they do not understand internet educate- and come across very pushy and rude]. and they love to get into arguments with one another, and apparently have no filter-saying things you know they'd never say in person. they are the worst!!!!!!!!

i hide them in my feed, but they still appear on my phone.

*sigh*

i wish i could just delete them all.

which is why i like to blog.

because very few from my "real life" know i do, and i can be perfectly honest[and maybe a little mean].

somebody's turning 1

well as much as i don't want to admit it, jude's 1st birthday is next week!!!

we decided to get him one nice gift and open a savings account, since he just got a bunch of things for christmas; and really, he doesn't play with toys a lot.

tax free and free shipping! from this site

is this not the most adorable things you've ever seen? i love it, and the sound is so sweet! and jude thinks it's awesome as well[we had to take a peek when it came, after all.]

now to figure out exactly what to do for the party. it will be small, just our families. and since i'm 1 of 5 kids, that will be more than plenty to fill our apartment. i would have it somewhere else, but i just love having the 1st birthday at home, just small and intimate.

i'm not into themes. jude's nursery doesn't have one, and i know this party won't have one either. i'm more about colors, and i plan to use a bright color pallet for his party

i obviously won't use girly colors or a summer theme, but i love how bright this is!

i need to hit up the dollar store and target[and maybe a few others] to gather the bright supplies i need, but i am so looking forward to celebrating this sweet boy!

happy holidays[about a week too late]

just a small recap of our holiday break. the above pictures pretty much capture our christmas perfectly. it really was better than i had hoped. everyone says this, but it really is so much better when there's a kid involved! as you can see, jude enjoyed all the paper and boxes[knew he would], and we just enjoyed how low-key the day was. did i mention we didn't get up til 11 am? [i was up at 10, but i had to wake the boys so we could have a christmas "morning."]

the rest of the break was spent being lazy mostly, but we did manage to squeeze in a trip to DC, a date and lunch with friends in from chicago! 

 

the DC day was kind of a flop, apparently jude found the trip less than thrilling, and cried the whole time in the stroller. we saved our signature stop at juiliana's for the end- which was totally worth it! chilean empanadas and fountain coke is an experience every mouth should experience!!! [my mouth is watering for it]

and what can beat a cheap date night? we went to ruby tuesdays, where my parents had given us a gift card and i also had a coupon[yay for 35 free dollars]. then went to see the final installment of the twilight saga [don't judge]- which was also pretty cheap considering one of the tickets was free. so we ended up spending less than $20(price of 1 ticket and a tip) for dinner and a movie. heck. yes.

 

it was so good seeing my friends! we've been friends since high school, and they're some of the greatest people! the kind of easy, no-drama relationships we all love. i hate that the boys are in chicago now, but they're pursuing some big dreams, and i couldn't be prouder!

 

new years eve was so low key i have no pics of the ball dropping. we bathed jude, put him to bed, and ate junk food and watched movies. we may or may not have actually missed the clock striking twelve. a 12:01 kiss still counts though, right?

 

hope your holidays were exactly what you wished for!

here's to a fabulous 2013!

i've been a very bad blogger....

taken christmas day

thankfully i don't really consider myself much of a blogger. i'm not a proficient writer, and i don't have a husband to take outfit pics for me, and i'm not a designer, and i don't do crazy crafts all the time. i'm just a girl who loves clothes and her two boys, and i occasionally like to vomit my thoughts on a screen. 

but nevertheless, this screen has been a bit blank. i've been instagram-ing like crazy[and probably wil continue to do so, since they seem to be stepping back on the selling our pictures deal]but that requires zero thought- therefor perfect for when jude decides he is indeed the center of my universe.

[this has to be the most random post i've done. ever.]

but the past few weeks really have flown by! my husband was off the whole week of christmas, and we had a fabulous week filled with food, family, pj's and more food[and a date!]. and jude decided he would in fact crawl[he's been a butt-scooter] and today he stood all by himself! he's becoming so mobile, and he is delighted with our oooo's and aahh's. in short, it's been very enjoyable.

but now the holidays are over and birthday season begins! starting with our busy boy this month, me the next, and gerson in march! no post-holiday blues here;)

also, how can it be 2013?!?!?!? [yes, i sound old]