Monday, December 3, 2012

food for thought


gerson and i had another one of our talks tonight, the specifics aren't important, but i started to get defensive and over-emotional- per usual. but then i stopped. and i actually let myself listen. 

i hate being wrong. i hate admitting i'm wrong.  and that will be the death of me. but tonight i definitely made progress. normally i would shut down and sulk, and then we would make up later and i might see that i was wrong, but would never say so, or if i did it would be reluctantly. tonight i rebounded in the same conversation and was able to make it a really good one.

a lame epiphany- but being wrong is not my comfort zone. and it has held me back for far too long. but after tonight i actually have one thing i can at least take the responsibility and initiative for- and by doing that on this one thing, i hope for it to be a catalyst for other things.

i am so good in the logic department....when it comes to running our family and keeping things great that way, i am awesome. i am awesome at being happy. 

but when it come to the negative emotional things, i've let my unwillingness to confront and possibly be wrong/ say the wrong thing hold me back for far too long. 

no more.

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