ch-ch-changes

 

hey you guys! look what's happening here! 

that's right, a little after he turned 13 months, jude took his first steps. just a couple weeks later, he's walking hand in hand with me!!! so weird.....sooooo strange. thankfully, he still mostly wants to ride in the cart[or in my arms]. he knows he's big stuff when he's walking around too.  always looking bak at me, like "check this out, momma!" 

and that's not all. we paid off our car and motorcycle this month! we still have another car to pay off, but it's 0% apr, so we aren't as anxious to get that monkey off our backs.

and

today we put a bid on a house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*disclaimer: this is a full year before we thought we'd be buying, so i will not be totally shocked if it falls through, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. we wanted to save more money, but this house just spoke to us....

first, my husband saw it online[he's forever perusing real estate sites] and he pointed out this house. i was like "meh". of course. but then he had a random weekday off, so we decided to go to shepherdtown[where we want to buy] and drive around. i suggested seeing the house in person[expecting to be dissapointed] and fell in love with the location. it's about a 3 minute drive from the downtown area. it's set back  from the road, surrounded by trees on almost 2 acres[check 1 off my husband's wishlist]. 

soooo then my husband set up a very low pressure showing, just so we could see...... 

basically it's perfect for us. 4 bedrooms(1 of which is on the 1st floor[bonus points for when we're older]), 3.5 bathrooms. eat-in kitchen, separate dining room, family room, bonus room, library,  laundry room, attached 2 car garage, and wood burning fire place.

it was built in the late-70's, and the decor reflects that, but i love the thought of going through and making it our own!

we just made an offer, so who knows if they'll even accept it. and there's a million little things that could go wrong, but we're feeling calm about it all[i think the other thing we're trying to change is a good distraction].

so we shall see.....

a sneak peek....

 

 

power lip

the above picture(no edits or filter) was taken 8 hours after applying my lipstick[l'oreal-british red].

eight. hours. 

no touch ups.

a fabulous lady friend, and make-up artist, of mine gave me a few simple steps of how to apply my lipstick so it stays all day. because honestly, what mama[or any lady] has time to reapply and touch up makeup throughout the day? not this lady. and i still swear to the fact that a red lip will make anyone feel fierce. even in the most casual outfit.

oh hey guys

been slacking majorly on blogging, but it comes in phases. sometimes i feel i have a lot to say, other times nothing. and sometimes i'm having a little too much fun living life, and have no time for this.

i turned 25 last month[quarter of a century people!], and while i still feel like the same person, i know i have made huge strides in my personal growth this year. there so much more to come, i know, but it's exciting to feel like i am coming into my own. i want to continue to feel more like myself, comfortable in my own skin and confident in my thoughts.

i also said goodbye to the pump, after exclusively pumping for jude for his 13 months of life. i still have some frozen supply that we give him in addition to whole milk[gotta keep that immunity], but it has been so liberating! no needing to schedule my life around my pumping schedule. it was very much worth it, but i so hope breastfeeding works out with any future babes. [more to come on exclusively pumping]. 

on another note, please check out that hat i'm wearing! i snagged that baby from stepcat, and i never want to take it off! i'll be wearing that amazing pom pom into early springtime!

unfortunately[or fortunate for my hat] we're supposed to be getting 12-18 inches of snow tomorrow. after having such a gorgeous day today, i'm in denial. especially since i was supposed to be driving to towson to see my friend on thursday. all i have to say, is if this snow has the audacity of ruining my plans, it had better get my husband out of work tomorrow!

to my dear friend

life has been hard for you, so much harder than it should ever have to be. ever since the day he left, and your entire world came crashing down, life has been a roller-coaster of ups and downs. always though, the void is painfully obvious. the mess he left behind.

some days, like these, are so very dark; the sun seems as though it will never shine again. and tears come easily. and everything hurts. and questions race. and your entire body aches with the missing. the mess he left behind. 

let it be. let it sink in deep. let your body rest and collapse. it is ok to embrace the mess. embrace the hurt that rocks your world. it is simply too much to deny. the mess he left behind.

but.

remember.

i've been told it does get better.

the sun will come. it's radiant light burning through the cold night. warming the grief to the bone. never gone, but transformed. this grief ocean, for now calm. the mess he left behind. now more beautiful.

a life so small. and so very brief. forever transforming the lives it touched. my own heart, forever changed. never doubt his impact, which will echo through the ages.

forever loved. forever missed. forever remembered.

what a beautiful mess he left behind.